how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
watched two towers today. gave it 4 stars for it's appealing scenery(and actor..legolas!! arwen!! argorn!!) oh well. good show. can't wait for the next one.
went to bishan with huimin and david for the show. watched the 1.40 show. david was really chatty(as usyual). and funny too. the whole day was pretty fun. saw one really cool jacket(think avril). kinda expensive though. oh well. there's always new year.
soo..to anyone wanting to catch lord of the rings, i strongly suggest u start brushing up on your middle-earth knowledge. start here. oh and, watch the first part. oh and, watch out for legolas! ahaz
gonna go watch unbeatables(itz gettin' more n more crappy),
xxx
ps: found out how to make a better quality versh of the recorded songs. gonna try to do that and upload them(hopefully soon). meanwhile, gonna try finding a host site for my pics and files.
party at yeeleng's lasted the whole night. almost. oh well, it was a classic case of too little to do and too much to drink. and eat. spent the whole remaining night feeling horrid. felt like a fool. never ever gonna touch that much booze again. hah. like i'll stand by this. felt a little like, i dunno, some kinda abandoned toy too. somewhat like that. it seemed like nobody cared that i was feeling horrid. or worse, nobody noticed. i guess i was rather irritating yesterday, ok, not rather, very irritating, but still... *boohoo*. i just couldn't help myself. i mean, i really tried to behave normally. feeling like i didn't have both feet on the ground most of the time wasn't fun. not. at. all. course it felt really good when marie took the effort to make me hot water for my head. i guess, i'm just a crybaby deep down inside. oh well.
funny things happened yesterday. so goes chronologically:
- made our way from jess' house to yeeleng's
- made ourselves comfortable in yl's room
- watched unbeatables 3
- brought out the mahjong table
- played mahjong
- went down with xiaoying and yeeleng to open wine
- went up with them with wine
- got persuaded by xiaoying to play finger guessing games with her - together with the wine
- yeeleng and ningzi brought out the tiger and proceeded to play too
- finished bottle of wine - began to feel groggy
- went down with some people groggily to get the small can of tiger
- went back and proceeded to continue game with xiaoying
- lost terribly
- felt terrible
- finished can of tiger
- laid on bed and tried to feel better
- failed miserably
- felt cold - wanted yeeleng to turn down(up?) the temp - she refused
- snuggled up with someone(xinyin?) and tried to feel warmer(i had one jacket and one blanket on already!)
- got scolded
*blurry part where thing's just seem to happen all at once*
think they went out and got food. think i puked too. think i asked for a sweet too. think i spat the sweet out
- went out and slept(next to the door)
- woke up at 2+ when xiaoying came out toking on the fone
- splitting headache occured
- sobered(enough)
- helped xiaoying with directions
- went back to the room
- tried playing mahjong
- tried teaching xinyin mahjong
- went downstairs to watch tv
- met marie and marg
- watched mtv with marie till late
- went back to room
- tried finding a spot to sleep
- ended up next to xinyin(again)(no offense)
so we all woke up this morning with horrible headaches(actually i guess only me). woke at around 8. found xinyin to be almost awake as well. found xueli to be very awake. went downstairs and watched more tv. waited till around 9, then we woke the rest up. went home in xinyin's dad's car. arrived home at 'round 9.30, then rushed to work. headache stayed with me throughout.
was sitting on the bus on the way home just now when i experienced, er, something. was kinda wierd. it was like, my mind's gotten detached or something. oh well. interesting.
tired. guess i'm gonna sleep soon.
xo
ps: gonna upload ningzi and xinyin's competition here.(same thing, rite clik and save target as...)
am now at yeeleng's house. debating whether to stay or not. oh well. been a busy little bee today. woke at 9(damn those constrution workers), went back to sleep, then woke up at 11 again. supposed to watch lord of the rings 2 with huimin today. but canceled it cause my schedule was rather cramped up today. so i bathed my dog instead. the rest of the time was, well, spent unwisely. wrapped my miserable little present while watching stuart little 2. what can i say. mouse and bird and cat in the human world acting like humans are, well, er, not really my type. was okay i guess.
went to jessica's house soon after that. arrived at about, i dunno, 6?, ate more junk food and just lazed around. exchanged presents after that, following that soon after, we came here.
oh well, 9 now. gonna go watch unbeatables 3 now.
later,
x
hmm.. juz found out how to record sound from the md to the com. interesting. rite click and save target as here to listen to xinyin sing her competition piece. lyrics bottom:
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try let go¡¡²»Ïë¶àÏë¡¡where we'll go
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no no I don't know seal my lips¡don't know it at all
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Crush
You know everything I'm afraid of
You do everything I wish I did
Everybody wants you, everybody loves you
I know I should tell you how I feel
And I wish everyone would disappear
Everytime you call me, I'm too scared to be me
And I'm too shy to be me
Chorus:
Ooh, I got a crush on you (crush on you)
I hope you feel the way that I do
I get a rush when I'm with you
Ooh, I've got a crush on you (crush on you)
You know I'm the one you can talk to
And sometimes you tell me things that I don't want to know
I just want to hold you
And you say exactly how you feel about her
And I wonder, could you ever think of me that way
Chorus
Ooh, I wish I could tell somebody
But there's no one to talk to
Nobody knows I've got a crush on you
A crush on you, I got a crush
You say everything that no one says
But I feel everything you're afraid to feel
I will always want you, I will always love you
Chorus
been working..so haven't really got the time to update myself lately. so here's the goss on me this couple of days:
18th: went to huimin's house after work, after getting her photos at the shop. bitched about my fellow workers. still didn't think much of anyone there. felt strange while she n her sister were talking- like they have some kinda secret i didn't know about. hell, maybe i was too tired.
19th: saw jac at work for the first time today. me, her n samah on the ladies side. boring day. went to pick up lenses(purple!!) at the shop after work with huimin. got her angry(very) cause i failed to turn up at the time designated( it was all a matter of misunderstanding). got myself bitten and scolded as well. then had a difficult time trying to put them on. sorta gave up and watched unbeatables 3 on tv. tried again after that and had better success. oh well. had a difficult time trying to take them off after that. overally(such a word?), it wasn't too bad. purple's really nice, and u can't tell unless u really look.
20th: went to work feeling, well, nothing actually. had a fun( i mean it!) day at work. fooled around most of the day with jac, yanni, samah and michelle. beginning to feel better about them fellow workers(heh). so there. rushed home after that and bathed, then met up with jackson n the rest of the gang at macdonald's, then proceeded to ecp for the bbq. had fun, though we didn't do much(to my surprise). didn't really actually expect fun, cause, er, i don't really know actually. david was a chatterbox(funny one to that), andy was nice, tangchee was quiet, desmond was, er, eager, and jackson was, well, jackson. shirdeen was also there. plus another guy named weili(vaness(haha)).played with the grill, drank alcohol, played with fire, the works. the night was beautiful too. big round moon, sparkling stars....*sigh*. life.
21st(todae!!): went to work at 12 today. met andy for my bata shirt. the bus ride sucked. the bus was too slow, the seats were too small, and the occupants too irritating. damn. just another ordinary day at work. work's beginning to become better, now that im more used to the people. noticed that samah had really nice eyelashes(long and thick). ah well, she had really nice eyes too. got sooo hungry at 4+ that yanni had to buy cookies for me.*embarrased*. not embarrased because she had to buy me cookies, but because she had to pay for them(i wanted to return her the money, she didn't want to tell me how much.) pretty much tired out. i mean, it's a saturday, and i worked long enough to get caught in the afternoon and evening rush. oh well, gotta face such tomorrow as well.
gonez dears,
xxx
wish for the week: off-day on 24 n 25 !!!!!
keyboard yoga for dark eye-circles...enjoy
Sit very tall in your chair with both feet flat on the floor. Begin breathing long and deep. Do not move any body parts. Sitting in your stillness, begin to move only your eyes. Roll your eyes in big circles clockwise for three long deep breaths. Then roll your eyes counter clockwise for three long deep breaths. Blink your eyes rapidly for ten seconds. Gently close your eyes and relax for three long deep breaths.
Natural Eye refreshers!!
1. The best thing is to use slices of cucumber cooled in the fridge and applied on the eyes like an eye-mask or sliced raw potato used in the same way. Iced frozen used tea bags are also really useful in controlling exhausted eyes, dark circles and puffiness.
2. A very effective treatment is using a mixture of 1 teaspoon of plain yogurt and 1-teaspoon honey, mix and use it like an eye-mask under the eyes. Wash off after 15 minutes. Also, take grated cucumber or potato and immerse cotton pads in the mixture then refrigerate until cold and apply over eye area. This makes an excellent eye treatment.
first day at work today. dead tired now. am the official packer and box-tearer today. man, forgot how work can get. almost. oh well. heard alotta things bout my fellow workers, all that made me not want to work there for long. hmmz. gonna find out more. meanwhile i guess i'll kist sleep.
nitez,
xoxo
Are You Sad?
Your life has been so hard
It's been dried up angels that can't keep guard
I'm trying to reach your hand
But I'm on fire
I never planned to fade... away
Stay with me
Stop pretending when they say that you're nothing
Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn't be..
I'm drowning inside your head
Help me to answer
Help understand
But it's been so long since we talked like friends
Please, forgive me,
I'm just a man
Whose makes mistakes
Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn't be..
me?oh well...
oh well. pictures from japan have come back. gonna try to put those up. if i can remember. im getting to be someone who wants to do everything but does nothing in the end. damn. that sucks.
unpacked today.finally.guess im gonna go home n vacuum my room. hopefully i'll get my lazy ass to the optician(how do you spell that?!) and get myself a pair of contacts. purple! aha.
later duckies,
xxx
ps: gotta remember to upload my trip diary in too. oh well.
What's Your Sad Song?
brought to you by Quizilla
into quizes now. thanks marie. heh
Jealousy, anger, pride and lust,
makes up some of our sinful crust,
separating our tender insides
with a surprisingly strong hold.
such delight that is so evil,
is none too favorable,
than for the devil.
argh. can't stand it. there'll always be people that no matter how you try to avoid, will pop right out at you and make life so damn difficult for you. i used to say that there were little people that i could downright hate, most probably because there's something in there, that makes that particular person not as bad as everybody might think. well i was wrong. dead wrong. oh well, no use talking about it. nobody cares anyway.
oooh been checkin out the ibook. damn cool. pop down for a look. hehe
waiting to go to fatimah's bdae. dead broke though. shall see what happens next.
later,
x
had to write this before i lose the urge to do this. bear with me k?
Suicide is not a way out. a lot of people that actually do suicide have few general misconceptions that it will: show the other people around him that degree of pain or anger or whatever they are causing him, and that ttaht amount is too much for him to bear. a cry for help in other words, although one might not neccessarily think that way. in fact nobody like that will think that way. or that suicide is one easy way out to end all the problems that this world has given him. 2 things: 1, suicide is never easy, it's takes so much more than what they show u in tv and books, and 2: it does not end your problems. you just won't be around to see it. which is good enough. i guess. people, especially people that are closer, or think themselves closer to you will just blame everything on you, yes, even after you're dead n gone and all dust. blame it on the dead guy. they can't talk back no more aint they? these people will just be soooooo overly overwhelmed by the fact that you have failed them, not how they might actually have a part in causing all of this, overwhelmed by the fact that by dying, you have hurt them, harmed them, in other words, made life much more difficult for them, rather than the actual thought of you yourself. Sad that alot of people these days care so much about only themselves. even sader thought: they don't even realise what's happening to them. your suicide will never be because of your own reasons, it has to be because you wanted to prove something to them, a final rebellion act or something. sad but true. suicide does not help like it should have. people should know when one feels the need to end one's own life, it is not becausewe wanna show people we dare n we can(it's our own life, for Christ's sake, our own fuckin' life), but because we can no longer cope with how the world wants us to be like. not everybody is cut out to be golden boy, or virgin girl. most people stumble sometimes. thing is, nobody cares to wait for those stumbling souls. they just push you aside, treat you like some discarded waste and look for new garbages to throw out.and then we're all left out here. to rot. to whatever. then it'll be time for them to start on the wail and the sob, on how they have failed or whatever. oh please, spare us that.
worse thing happens when you don't actually succeed in dying. you'll just get locked up in some kind of a excuse for a hospital with some wierdo for a shrink, where they'll throw away the key and you'll never get to see the light of day again. troubled mind, disturbed, depression, schizophrenic, whatever. they'll have a name for your "condition". and then it'll be about kids nowadays and the violence and gore on entertainment tv and the stinkin' music they hear nowadays. somehow, it'll always be the music. be it now or 10 years before. please. you want violence and gore, look at the news. or just open your doors wide and observe carefully. your daily dosage of exposure, delivered right at your doorstep. once you fail to die, you're dead. ha ha. no life, no peace, no nothing. you'll just become a stinkin' bag of organs. your parents and everybody else will be bawling their eyes out at their failure for a kid, or the overly-pampering of them. sad? but true. you want something more sad? all this won't actually hapen if whoever is involved actually did some of the things they will be crying about. truth hurts. it always does. just like any other thing on this planet. or universe.
don't ever try suicide. it's meaningless and it'll bring you loads of trouble if you don't actually die. although it feels so damn good, although it'll make you feel high, all the adrenalin and endorpthins(?) and stuff, it ain't worth it. if life really sucks too damn fuckin' hard to bear, don't do suicide. go all out. kill, murder, whatever. no more boundaries, no more cares. life don't matter no more anyway. take a few more out. the more the merrier. that way you'll never get out. you'll never fail too. you either die, or the government'll do that for you. nobody'll think you're kidding as well. they damn be right sure you ain't kidding. it's all serious now. not just some cry for help. you don't need help. you need release. sad? true.
just landed in my own com sit(seat). ahhhhh, feels so good to be back. damn friggin' good. stupid plane was like moving in slow motion or something, i watched mr. deeds, the good girl (starring jennifer aniston - she should stay to comedy), xXx, and spy kids 2 (what can i say, they say sequels suck - they really do), all in a go. movie marathon, here i come.
tired now, guess i'll juz buzz 'round.
sweetcakes n muffins ( how the hell did i?)
xoxo
oh man, the blog`s messed up now. thanks to me. anyways, am now in the netcafe in Narita airport. have been waiting for like, forever cause the flight`s been delayed. just heard the announcement for us to report(?) at the check in counter now. hope the flight`s been pushed forward(supposed to leave at 5.50). hopefully
back again,
xxx
