how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodicantbelievewhathappenedtoday
i'mgonnaxplodeandscreampinchmecausei'msleepingihavetobethisistoogoodtoo
betruearghargharghohmygodohmygodohmygod
dont hold me back - i'm floating away
"Lady Lazurus"
Slyvia Plath
I have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it --
A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a Nazi lampshade,
My right foot
A paperweight
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.
Peel off the napkin
O my enemy.
Do I terrify? ----
The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day.
Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me
And I am a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.
This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.
What a million filaments.
The peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see
Them unwrap me hand and foot --
The big strip tease.
Gentlemen, ladies,
These are my hands,
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,
Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.
The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut
As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.
Dying
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.
I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.
It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical
Comeback in a broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:
"A miracle!"
That knocks me out.
There is a charge
For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart --
It really goes.
And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood
Or a piece of my hair or my clothes
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.
I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby
That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.
Ash, ash --
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there. --
A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.
Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.
Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.
There She Goes
Sixpence Non The Richer
There she goes
There she goes again
Racing through my brain
And I just can't contain
This feeling that remains
There she goes
There she goes again
Pulsing through my veins
And I just can't contain
This feeling that remains
There she goes
There she goes again
Racing through my brain
And I just can't contain
This feeling that remains
There she goes
There she goes again
She calls my name,
Pulls my train
No one else could heal my pain
And I just can't contain
This feeling that remains
There she goes
There she goes again
Chasing down my lane
And I just can't contain
This feeling that remains
There she goes
There she goes
There she goes
adding fuel to my fire babe aint helpin' me not one bit
anyway im suffering from withdrawal symptoms. did i say that? well yeah anyway i am. i am so bad that my hands shake when i get remotely near a computer/phone. so when i get a chance to use it, you damn well be sure i WILL. which is why my pw group members are sitting on the table next to me and doing nothing. when we are supposed to be. but oh well.
okay..part of what i'm gonna do here is to give a funny/refreshing/witty entry to you, dear reader, so here goes:
i was...
.
...
.
okay maybe im not much of a funny/refreshing/witty person right now. dear reader, you must understand, post-tech syndrome is a veeerry tricky syndrome. very tricky indeed. your head gets messed up, your hands shake, you cant control and use even the most basic of all computer functions. 2nd-stage disease symptoms include a sudden hair growth spurt, increased intolerancy of water(where patient starts showering less), bone disorder(where patient starts hunching up to point where he is unable to stand up straight and has to resort to shuffling of feet in a semi-fetal position). one would, at this point start losing control of vocal cords and occasional outbursts of screechy, high-pitched noise would be emitted.
yes, sadly dear reader, the person seems to be showing characteristics of devolution(evolution...de-evolution..geddit?). and that's me. im on the path of no return. soon you'll see me scratching my hairy body swinging from trees to trees and screeching. perhaps if you see me then, you can probably do me a favour and pick out my fleas for me. the downsides of having a hairy body is that stuff invariably nest there.
it sure sucks living in the prehistorics. yeap. that's me. living in the prehistoric ages. no phone, no computer. how bad can i get? and yep, i lost my phone. bad huh? stupid stupid stupid thing to lose. i'm having post-tech withdrawel symptoms.
it seems like only a short while have passed since i last used the com but i'm already forgetting how to use it. YES forgetting it. or maybe the school's printing systems are that damn hard to use. bloody hell. im this close to pulling out my hair and screaming all the way home. yes im in school now. what else? why else would i wake up so bloody early to use the computer? school. always school folks.
i've cut my hair. think its a bit too short. unlike me, but its still okay. im abit inferior bout it. hah.
i'm going back to struggling with the printer.
til then,
xxx
you know what? (this is where you guys say "what")
i've decided.("you have?")
what i want, who i want is MY problem. not gonna care what people think.("really?")
yep really.
im gonna let go.
problem is, will the one i want feel the same?
okay my computer is gonna explode any minute and im gonna dieeeee *wails*
-computer utters a buzz-like note which gets louder and louder. screen flickers. sparks ignite the cpu. computer explodes, sending off a shower of bright lights which could be spotted all the way in jurong.
cut scene to void deck. throngs of people crowding. an ambulance and fire engine arrive. chaos abound.-
oh man my imagination is running wild. but it IS so gonna explode. stupid lousy computer. i can operate faster than it does.
STUPID STUPID STUPID!
but then again maybe i shouldnt piss it off like that. maybe it'll hold on.
HOLD ON COM!! HANG IN THERE!!
-scene to where i'm on my knees, hugging the cpu firmly, tears streaming down my face, wailing and crying and pleading. computer explodes anyway.-
there it goes again. i need sleep boy. lack of sleep is making me a neurotic basketcase.
anyway, im kinda pissed. merryland is closed on mondays. CLOSED! which means i'll have irritating hair for another day. or 2. there's training tomorrow. argh i SO do not want to go. its so..monotonous. i feel like a bloody factory worker. BUT IM NOT GETTING PAID!
15 bucks. 15 bloody dollars.
yea and we'll probably have enough money to do...nothing.
are we the fuckin' refuge camp here?
i was in a mad state yesterday. really i was. i mean i was all ready to run down(or up) cadlecott hill, banner and lightstick armed, waving frantically while madly chanting "daphne daphne" all the way.
yep. daphne khoo was that great. i was completely bowled over.
she's just so bloody great. and her voice...oh her voice! =D~
what can i say about daphnes?
they simply just rock.
