how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
how did it come to this?
it rained prettily just now. its really amazing to see the rain coming down from a height - its almost as if i was among the clouds, watching the raindrops fall. the sound of rain muted by my closed window, fog obscuring blocks and blocks of flats ahead, the rhythmic patter of it... perfect.
realised i havent been noticing alotta stuff around me recently. everything's rushed and pretty messed up. i'm settling into the routine that's my life and its as if i can never get away from it all. i dont have time for anything else and life's pretty much mundane.
troubles, friends, school, home...i need to slow down and smell the coffee or wake up and smell the coffee or whatever's the phrase.
2 interesting sites.
Cruxification
20 questions
saw a funeral while walking home late last night. there werent many people around. a table or 2, most probably family memebers. usually funerals as i know are noisy affairs - there's always alotta people around. not this one though. does it mean this poor guy didnt have many friends? was he well liked? why werent ppl going to his funeral? did people know? see im starting to refer him as past tense already.
which got me thinking...will i have many people mourning for me when i die? will people even care? worse still, will they not even know? will i be missed? what will i have contributed by the time i die? where will i go...?
such heavy thoughts.
oh well i get easily depressed.
argh there's school tomorrow. and pe. oh boy double jeopardy. the guys came to my house to rot today. we..well we rotted. watched a movie bout aileen wuornos. its really sad.
lookit the real aileen wuornos peeps.
swirling mists, the night is black...
Sometimes
Sugababes
Honestly, can I say what I mean
Don't you play with me
Cos I'm a lady
When I look in your eyes
I can see through your charm
You're constantly twisted
I'm angry, alarmed
Your poison has taken control of my soul
But I won't say no more
And I won't take no more
Sometimes I wonder where this feeling began
Deep in my heart right from the start
Tired and lonely I'll move on from this pain
I'm starting again I'm breaking the chain
Emotionally, it takes all of me
Apologies, but you don't really have a hold on me
There's a distance between us
And you take the blame
I know that you try but
At the stage of the game
I've started a new life
There's no turning back
With you now, don't you know, can't you see I got over
Had to take matters into my own hands
Falling this deep wasn't part of my plans
If turning this around is what I have to do
To get through to you
My fire's burnt out it's true
went namelist crazy late last night. added, added, and added somemore peeps to my whatever list(s). wheee. havent had that much fun on my com. not when my com's a broken down &^$%*&^( piece of shit. anyway. that's what happens when u put me and namelists together.
aching all over. went running with ning and co last evening. havent been doing such stuff ever since school started. in fact..haven been having much of a life since school started.
was talking with the gals last night when the inevitable topic of relationships came up. im starting to wonder what's really up with my love life. i feel kinda wierd bout certain things...dont know if people know..dont know if people accept that as what i really feel. i feel different from them somehow..like detached or some woebegone kinda feeling. somehow having a nice happy family..a home with a backyard, a husband and 2 kids feels..ugh to me. the picture's just not right. with me anyhow. there. im a serious wierdo. shall stop here before i feel sorry for myself.
its the hair thang folks
my hair cant possibly be treated worse. its been chopped, combed, dyed, blown, washed, pulled so many times its a wonder its still there. in fact, my hair could be the paris hilton in the hairdom. both are victims to so much bad press. hur hur pun for those slow enough not to get that. anyway, as ive been saying, my hair. gosh its bad. after 2 haircuts, 1 dyejob, countless hours spent taming, then hiding the hair later and what u get is what u see right now. hopefully its not as bad as it was after the 1st haircut...but then again im only hoping. how to bring it out to the world guys? how to not cringe every single time i look into the mirror folks? gosh i hope my hair grows the rate im rambling - that'll be possibly the best news regarding my hair these past few days.
as for now...lay off the hair jokes will ya? any smidgen of it coming out and i'll tear ur head off.
thats all folks
xoxo
a brand new day, a brand new beginning. and so i have decided: i WILL think more about myself and less of what others think about me. so there.
dunno why im feeling what im feeling right now. i feel so...lost. i feel like im just a pawn in this entire scheme of things we call life. i feel like im going outta control. what used to be right is now blurry. but then again, there never has been a definite boundary between right and wrong. has my fascination turned into an obsession?
maybe im just tired...
went you-know-what(ahem) with huimin today. you-know-what shall not be named for veri pantang reasons. feeling sorta a sensory and perceptary overload right now after min showed me one of her friends webbie. its amazing how some people do with their talents. im just...blown away.
anyway..school's...argh there aint no word for it. im being pulled under the surface but under a guise of normalcy. oh well. life goes on. only good thing's that im released almost everyday at 9.40. but when tutorials come in.....
celebrated liren's bday yesterday at k'star(k'ster wadeva its spelt). wad can i say bout that place...its...sleazyish. there were chinese(as in ppl frm china) "social escorts" at that place ya so..anyway our trips to the toilet always seem to be another experience with them. the 1st time they were discussin bout the men in a way that makes me feel reaaal sad for the way life turned out for them, the 2nd was,ahem, kinda shocking. you see the women were peeing rite in our faces! ok that didnt come out right..what i meant was they were peeing facing us...without closing the door! the toilet was full of mirrors so there was NO way u can avoid not looking at them. argh i sound sick.
the gals were really silly and i was like..laffin my way throughout the session. sang super old songs and funny songs and songs we cant even read(aka indian/malay songs). okay maybe i wasnt singing...i was more like screeching and screaming but....
the aircons were turned on at full blast like its nobody's business and we were all soon chattering away from the cold(in case u cant figure out its kinda hard to sing when you're chattering away). started feeling sickish halfway through..it was horrible really, was feeling really woozy and cold and sniffish. i have to say at this point that weising is reeeallly reaaaally nice to snuggle up to and she's really warm! so thanks ya...
hope liren had a good(no great) time yesterday..but then again with us how can she not? =x anyway happy birthday yesterday again liren!!!
anyway back to present day, now at grandma's place after going food hunting around the neighbourhood with min. kinda tired and still sniffish, so guess i'll be traveling home soon.
til again,
xxx
ps to huimin who might be seeing this: im gonna take up ur offer on u "chaperoning" me to mad monks. hahahaa =x
