how did it come to this?
had to write this before i lose the urge to do this. bear with me k?
Suicide is not a way out. a lot of people that actually do suicide have few general misconceptions that it will: show the other people around him that degree of pain or anger or whatever they are causing him, and that ttaht amount is too much for him to bear. a cry for help in other words, although one might not neccessarily think that way. in fact nobody like that will think that way. or that suicide is one easy way out to end all the problems that this world has given him. 2 things: 1, suicide is never easy, it's takes so much more than what they show u in tv and books, and 2: it does not end your problems. you just won't be around to see it. which is good enough. i guess. people, especially people that are closer, or think themselves closer to you will just blame everything on you, yes, even after you're dead n gone and all dust. blame it on the dead guy. they can't talk back no more aint they? these people will just be soooooo overly overwhelmed by the fact that you have failed them, not how they might actually have a part in causing all of this, overwhelmed by the fact that by dying, you have hurt them, harmed them, in other words, made life much more difficult for them, rather than the actual thought of you yourself. Sad that alot of people these days care so much about only themselves. even sader thought: they don't even realise what's happening to them. your suicide will never be because of your own reasons, it has to be because you wanted to prove something to them, a final rebellion act or something. sad but true. suicide does not help like it should have. people should know when one feels the need to end one's own life, it is not becausewe wanna show people we dare n we can(it's our own life, for Christ's sake, our own fuckin' life), but because we can no longer cope with how the world wants us to be like. not everybody is cut out to be golden boy, or virgin girl. most people stumble sometimes. thing is, nobody cares to wait for those stumbling souls. they just push you aside, treat you like some discarded waste and look for new garbages to throw out.and then we're all left out here. to rot. to whatever. then it'll be time for them to start on the wail and the sob, on how they have failed or whatever. oh please, spare us that.
worse thing happens when you don't actually succeed in dying. you'll just get locked up in some kind of a excuse for a hospital with some wierdo for a shrink, where they'll throw away the key and you'll never get to see the light of day again. troubled mind, disturbed, depression, schizophrenic, whatever. they'll have a name for your "condition". and then it'll be about kids nowadays and the violence and gore on entertainment tv and the stinkin' music they hear nowadays. somehow, it'll always be the music. be it now or 10 years before. please. you want violence and gore, look at the news. or just open your doors wide and observe carefully. your daily dosage of exposure, delivered right at your doorstep. once you fail to die, you're dead. ha ha. no life, no peace, no nothing. you'll just become a stinkin' bag of organs. your parents and everybody else will be bawling their eyes out at their failure for a kid, or the overly-pampering of them. sad? but true. you want something more sad? all this won't actually hapen if whoever is involved actually did some of the things they will be crying about. truth hurts. it always does. just like any other thing on this planet. or universe.
don't ever try suicide. it's meaningless and it'll bring you loads of trouble if you don't actually die. although it feels so damn good, although it'll make you feel high, all the adrenalin and endorpthins(?) and stuff, it ain't worth it. if life really sucks too damn fuckin' hard to bear, don't do suicide. go all out. kill, murder, whatever. no more boundaries, no more cares. life don't matter no more anyway. take a few more out. the more the merrier. that way you'll never get out. you'll never fail too. you either die, or the government'll do that for you. nobody'll think you're kidding as well. they damn be right sure you ain't kidding. it's all serious now. not just some cry for help. you don't need help. you need release. sad? true.
