how did it come to this?
pull my heart out with a wrench, stuff it into the mouth stick a knife in it and let it bleed. the blood gushing into the mouth, the rapid, desperate pumps of the dying heart, the hot, metallic aftertaste it leaves, spinning me around and around and with dying strengh, casts me into the darkness before stopping, forever.
the pain, the agony, the feeling of losing something i never had - it all adds up, weighing me down and putting me out until i'm but a hunched individual, burdened by cares from a forgotten time, never ever seeking the light but shunning it, completely. absolutely.
wring out my heart like a rag. squeeze dry the emotions. let it drip, let it flow, let it gush. the pain will be unbearable - burning inside my physical being with weaknesses i so hate, engulfing all of me until i embrace it wholly, when my insides burn up and i can no longer feel.
then let me cease to exist, for living a life without feeling is living none.
