how did it come to this?
for all the tons of self-help books out there which assure you that hurt of losing a loved one will go away, it doesnt. the acute pangs of loneliness that is felt can never be erased. for sure, when time sets in we feel less strongly than we did at that present moment, but loneliness is never erased. we come to get used to the gnawing feeling that is loneliness, which settles in our guts like an eternal hunger, but it is never erased. we learn to ignore that ever present sensation, but it is never erased. we lead our lives like the way it is supposed to be, go back to our original routines - even manage to love again - but every once in awhile, when the night is cold and silent, loneliness rises up with full force - like a sudden gust of hot, damp air rising from the gutters. we are enveloped by our loneliness and for that moment, are struck dumb by the force of it. for that moment, the loneliness and ourselves are one. for that moment, we are enrapt in our pain and for that one moment, nothing else matters.
for that one moment, the world caves in and our vision blurries; we see nothing and hear nothing, feel nothing but that one precise emotion.
for that one moment, we cease to exist.
