how did it come to this?
this taken from a book:
"loving or writing, nothing is more exciting or more beautiful than recognising the struggle between the power we exercise over another person and the power the other - man or woman - exercises over us. everything else vanishes in that ungraspable tempest of mutual attraction, of resistance that, out of lust for power or a mere instinct of survival or perhaps perversity, we put up to the attraction of another. the charm of such a struggle, obviously, is to yield to it. how? with whom? when? for how long? an ashen-winged angel flies over. that dark angel, that tarnished eros, is don juan, cupid in flames, his own androgynous self, who deposits on the eyelids, nostrils, ears, mouth of a loved one, on the back of the head, if necessary, the seeds of a smile, of a voice, of a glance. of a desire. beltenebros the melancholy whispers softly in my ear and tells me, 'there can be nothing sadder than the taste of the women you will never possess, the men you lost out of fear, out of conventionality, out of dread of taking the forbidden step, out of lack of imagination, out of inability to become, as don juan does, someone else.' "
