how did it come to this?
just discovered that there are actually oh so many ways to publish my site. wondered where i had been all this while. anyways i just found out, to which i'm just gonna ignore. not gonna go there...not just yet(i'm surprised). i mean, imagining a few people that i know(don't know) reading this is..oh-kay...but to know that everyone who knows you - online anyway - can have access to your own sanctuary is..whoa.
had a really wierd dream just. which is why i'm actually here so early.
mood/setting: dark, coldish, wet. fear's present..as well as loneliness?
place: arcade sorta place, streets were new york back alley kinda feel to it(not that i've been to new york before..), train cabin?
characters: me as myself, my uncle(damn), adeline/marie?, ningzi, teachers?, one oldish guy i don't even know. 3 backalley people..one of which is blond. and young. and a female. with long hair. wadeva
i was in some kinda arcade. feeling pretty warm but not contented. probably because of the presence of my uncle. he was hammering away on his game, the only he plays somewhere to the right of me..down one step. the whole place was built like a terraced farm(i.e steps)(somethin' like snookerium im amk). felt the urge to follow adeline/marie when she went out. first thing noticed 'bout outside was the cold. bitter, sad, urgh. another thing was the 3 people, one of which is the blondie. the other was that my uncle(nosy as always), came along. he was standing to the doorway. just looking. didn't like that. at all. there was just something bout blondie.....i felt the need to prove my superiority. which she totally wasn't impressed. another wierd thing was that i was afraid - not afraid of missing school kinda afraid...but really afraid - that i will lose sight of adeline/marie .
then when i did i decided to get back in. which began another part to my wierd dream. it was as if my uncle knew i was gonna go in...he just left and went back in. which is kinda freaky now that i think back . he was in another game this time, on my step, playing one of my games. please realise by now that i'm assuming..cause strange things happen in dreams... i felt wierdly left out..like in shows when everybody gathers around and you are left out. this literally happened.
so i was on a train now. or bus rather. and i think we're on some kinda excursion. not in singapore, that i know, for reasons i will explain later. there was this spot, just between cabins which the dream me liked to go. to zone out. and think. and do wadeva i do alone. so that was where i wanted to go. i vaguely remember passing this oldish guy sleeping..on a reclined seat. so i went, to find out there's a piece of paper wedged between the seats. the kinda paper you burn to dead people , that's what. i think it was custom in the dream on the train that anyplace that has had people died before will have that kinda papers stuck on it. to show that someone has died before(so we won't disturb)..and to appease the spirit. so there i was, fear rising...and suddenly - this mannequin like person(victim?) flashed before me. freaked the hell outta me. i remeber movingrunning out to the cabin(my cabin), frantically trying to tell ningzi what i saw. a sense of foreboading crossed me then, for i "disturbed" the spirit. or something. we were arriving at the excursion spot, and i was in a mad rush to get out the bus/train. i know we're not in s'pore cause i distinctly remember myself trying to think of ways to not take the school bus/train on the way back. that, and a mad jumble of nonsense. i was squeezing my way through the doors with ningzi when i felt something grab - more like a scratch - my leg. i practically could feel it probably cause i was on my way to waking(or probably have already). see the most wierdest thing at that point was that i vaguely remember waking up and looking at the clock..which read 6.23...then going back to sleep - against my own will. it was like being pushed back to a nightmare i already had woken from. i know my alarm was gonna ring..though i set it for 6.20(another oddity of mine) so back i was, down the bus, hysterically trying to tell ningzi(very loudly) what just happened. it seemed nobody believed me, or even wanted to listen. then my alarm clock rang and i was blessedly awoken. with difficulty. had i not woken up at that time, it would turn out to be another one of those i -can't-move-or-get-up-even-though-i'm-trying kinda dreams. freaky.
