how did it come to this?
im completely stressed out right now. i think im just too fussy. the jobs that want me have their flaws, those that dont..well what can i say? i seriously do need a job right now.. maybe i am feeling kinda insecure now cause of the unpredictability of the situation at hand. im kinda running out of time now..with school and all, counting down, i have bout 4 months left to work. even less if i can go to a jc.
looking back at all the things that've happened recently, i find that my thinking has changed. somewhat. valentine's day has always been a taboo subject - except for it being used to highlight our single status - we(i actually) dont really like to talk bout it much. underneath all the joking there had always been some kinda sad feeling. but now as this year's valentine's day draws near im beginning to realise that i dont really feel that way anymore. sure there are times when i look at couples out there and envy their lovelorn looks at each other like they're the only people left in this world, but i'm beginning to feel like i dont need that special someone in my life. dont want actually. im still young, i have so many good friends i wanna spend time with, there's so many things i can do. having that someone in my life just.. i dunno it just cuts a lotta things out. i dont wanna be tied down, i dont wanna be restricted. i need my free time and besides, i have my friends. maybe it's cause i dont really have someone i wanna spend more time with...
but then again, it'll be nice to have someone around.....
i've come to the absolute conclusion that i DO want affection, but not commitment.
does that make me a bad person?
