how did it come to this?
The tender brush of your skin. A faint whisk of your scent. Heavenly. Delightful. I am lost in the moment, my skin aching from where you touched me, my head dizzy from your scent. Do you know your effect upon me? And then you’re lost, in the crowd. I feel lost too, lost without your subtle warmth near me, not felt by anyone else but all too keenly by me. A thousand thoughts race through my head, burning me up, running their nightmare marathon and never getting caught. Unintelligible. The babble of misshapen words in circles in my head, like the babble of my heart.
I see your face in the crowd. Heavenly. Delightful. I see you making your way back towards me. My heartbeat speeds up – it pounds an anthem against my chest. It strikes at my ribs again and again; it’s like a maniac beast struggling to get out. You flash your smile, sweet, delightful – for that moment I see you as you are, sweet young girl, careless with her actions. Not the temptress I behold with my eyes. Not the enchantress before me now, luring me in with each gaze, and each slight but not so subtle movement you make with your delectable body. I am drawn.
Against me now. The soft, almost baby-like flesh – so warm its burning – against mine. The slight contact leaves me breathless, all blood drained out – are you aware of my pounding heart? My aching limbs? I yearn to touch you, to envelope you in my embrace, hold you close; make you my own. But I don’t. Tread softly now, don’t speak. Don’t make the wrong move. You are the temptress after all, seducing me to your game. Play your game. I feign it, but I’m all yours. Yours for the taking. I shift, and suddenly all is lost. Contact broken. The little space between us feels like a great divide to me. A cold chasm; a yawning void.
I act nonchalant around you. Pretend that you are invisible. Act like you’re the last thing that I see. Behave like this tiny gap between us is nothing, that I am not affected by it. Can you see the effort I’m putting in, this pretense of manners I put on, to throw everybody off the scent. Can you see how this act is straining me? I seem to fool everyone, everyone but you. I look over and you give me another of those knowing smiles; ones that light up your face yet leaves it still a mystery to me. My heart skips a beat. It is percussion in my ears.
And then, more boldly now.
I love the feeling, the feeling you give. The quickening of the pulses, the sense of flirting with danger and the thrill when you lean in against me. For we know it’s forbidden, your touch is forbidden baby and what am I to do when I go home? I don’t want to go home, I wish to stay lost in your warmth; in you. I get heady from your perfume, the sense of being so near to you yet so far apart. I want to delve head first into the pool that is you and drink from your fount.
Are you thinking what I am darling? You bring out the innate desires in me – I wish to conquer you, I wish to break you. I want to let the world know: if I can’t have you, then nobody will. In a perfect world I would sweep you off your feet, leave a thousand little kisses down the nape of your neck, feel you purr, feel you arch your back towards me, feel your breath as it tickles my ear, the heaviness of it indicating your desire.
Your desire. You startle me out of my thoughts with a kiss. A tiny one; one too short for anyone to notice. Yet what a difference it makes in all the world for me. My neck is aflame from where your lips touched. Chills down my spine, the deep throbbing in me intensifying. And then again. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Reeling from ectasy I garnered enough courage – I looked at you. Another one of those smiles again. I’d kill to see you smile like that. Not looking at me. Fingers running down the length of my back. Even closer now: thigh upon thigh, hip upon hip. You lean in once more. I take in your aroma. I sigh. I gather you in my arms – like the most precious of jewels I hold you, praying the moment will never end; hoping the moment will never be broken soon enough by inquisitive stares. You’re forbidden honey, and I fall harvesting you.
